Cultural Pressures and Mental Health in the South Asian Community

As a child of immigrants, and someone who works closely with clients from diverse backgrounds, I’ve both seen and experienced firsthand how cultural pressures can shape mental health, particularly within the South Asian community. While everyone's experience is unique, there are common threads that many of us can relate to, whether it's the weight of expectations, the stigma around mental health, or the need to balance traditional values with modern identities. Let’s explore these challenges and how we can navigate them together.

The Pressure of Expectations

In South Asian cultures, family and community often play central roles in our lives. This can be a source of immense support, but it can also create significant pressure. Expectations to excel academically, secure a prestigious job, marry by a certain age, and live up to cultural ideals can feel so overwhelming. Many of my clients describe feeling as though their worth is tied to their achievements or their ability to fulfill these societal benchmarks.

This pressure isn’t always explicitly stated; it’s often communicated through subtle comments, comparisons to others, or a general sense of “what will people say?” Over time, this can lead to feelings of inadequacy, anxiety, or even depression. It’s important to recognize that while our families’ expectations often come from a place of love and care, they may not always align with what’s best for our mental health.

The Stigma Around Mental Health

Mental health remains a taboo topic in many South Asian households. Words like “depression” or “anxiety” might be met with dismissive responses like, “Just pray more,” or “You’re overthinking.” For some, seeking therapy feels like admitting failure or bringing shame to the family. This stigma prevents so many of us from reaching out for help when we need it most. 

I often remind my clients that mental health is just as important as physical health. Would you hesitate to see a doctor if you had a broken bone? Then why hesitate to seek support for emotional wounds or mental strain? Breaking the stigma starts with open conversations and challenging misconceptions within our families and communities.

The Push and Pull of Identity

For those of us navigating life in a Western society while holding onto South Asian roots, the push and pull of identity can be exhausting. We may feel torn between traditional values and the desire to carve out our own paths. This might include choosing a career that’s unconventional, prioritizing our mental health over societal expectations, or deciding how much cultural tradition to integrate into our personal lives.

This duality often leads to feelings of guilt or isolation. Are we being “good enough” sons, daughters, or community members? Are we disappointing our families by prioritizing our own needs? These questions can weigh heavily on our mental health, making it crucial to find balance and self-acceptance.

Finding Your Way Forward

If you find yourself struggling under the weight of cultural pressures, know that you’re not alone. Here are some steps to start prioritizing your mental health:

Acknowledge Your Feelings: It’s okay to feel overwhelmed, frustrated, or even resentful at times. Naming your emotions is the first step toward addressing them.

Set Boundaries: It’s not selfish to set boundaries with loved ones. If certain conversations or expectations trigger stress, communicate your needs compassionately, but firmly.

Seek Support: Whether it’s through therapy, support groups, or trusted friends, find a safe space where you can share your experiences without judgment. If you reach out in enough ways, you might find support where you least expect it - a cooking subreddit, or a badminton club, for example!

Challenge the Stigma: Start small. Share your mental health journey with someone you trust. The more we talk about it, the more we normalise it.

Define Your Own Success: Remember, success isn’t one-size-fits-all. What does a fulfilling, meaningful life look like to you? Focus on that, rather than external validation.

Let’s Break the Cycle

Cultural pressures don’t have to define your mental health journey. While we can honor and respect our roots, we also have the power to redefine what happiness and success look like for us as individuals.

If this resonates with you, I encourage you to reach out. Together, we can navigate the complexities of cultural expectations and create space for your mental and emotional well-being to thrive. You deserve it.